you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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