And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
