Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
