i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
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I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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