I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
