i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
