Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize