They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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