he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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