All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
