I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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