I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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