Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
