I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I need moral support for this bender
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
