i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
