I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
