Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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