Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
