He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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