Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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