I wish I could teleport
Please, let me fuck your mom
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
