the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
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Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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