I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
40s are totally the cure
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
