just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
