Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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