i need an iv and a liver transplant
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
