it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
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I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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