And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
