When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
