none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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