Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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