Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
