wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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