As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize