Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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