I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
