I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
