On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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