That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
