I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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