I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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