Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
