Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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