Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How's work?
Spinning.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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