what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
