It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
