Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
