i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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