Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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