wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
