is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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