I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sober January is a disaster.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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