thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
