So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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