Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
