Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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