ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
