Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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