I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize