I wish I could teleport
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
