i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
